At the park

She was late on rent. Late on the electric bill. Running low on her pantry, which she always kept well supplied.

She had been an excelling personal trainer. She lost her job because of the pandemic, and no one wanted to pay for virtual coaching. She got it, it wasn’t the same.

But her bills still weren’t getting paid.

She already told her landlord she was leaving. She couldn’t do it anymore. The only reason she hadn’t left was that the eviction moratorium kept her landlord from throwing her out.

She took a deep breath as she looked down at her son, who was still a couple months shy of 2. His bouncy, curly hair always made her smile no matter how bad things were.

She was going to have to move back in with her mom. Who had never approved of her being a single mom, even though that was only half her doing. His dad… well she didn’t need him.

“Park?” he said, his big eyes looking up at her.

She had almost finished packing, only a few odds and ends left really.

“Park?”

Exercise is good for stress, she reminded herself, and she wanted to always help her son use exercise as emotional regulation. Children can feel stress, too.

“Okay,” she said. “Let’s go to the park.”

Her mother compensated for her disapproval with gifts that a young child didn’t need, like brand name clothes or trendy shoes that he’d grow out of in a few months. His favorite pair were from her — grey Velcro high tops. He always wanted to wear those.

It was a short drive. He immediately ran across the green grass in that stumbling, unsteady way of a toddler. It was golden hour, and the sun cast a warm hue on his skin. She smiled — a small moment of content.

Later, she buckled her sleepy son back into his car seat. She didn’t notice he’d kicked off a small, grey velcro shoe as he clambered into the car.